The Gym Pick-Up: Yay or Nay? August 27 2014

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This one’s for the ladies. How many times have you been at the gym, all sweaty in your last clean t-shirt and mis-matched shorts, feeling as though you look like your dog’s behind when some bulging man approaches, muscles flexed to ask you if you “need a spotter” or perhaps if “this machine is taken”? Yes, it happens to us all. I’m sorry, you are not special. This isn’t one of those “you’re just so naturally beautiful that no matter how hard you try to look like s&*t people still want you” moments.


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This happens to women of all kinds in gyms all over. It’s a syndrome, perhaps stemming from the early caveman days when men’s only train of thought was to be the biggest, strongest man in the tribe with the most female conquests. As long he’s finished with his heavy lifting, you have lumps under your t-shirt and are the closest female in proximity, he will approach.


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I’d like to ask this man if he wasn’t already done his 200 bicep curls for the day and ready to start phase 2 of his workout, the predator phase, if he’d like me to get all up in his face. But instead, I’ve written him a letter, from gym bunnies everywhere.

Dear Caveman-

We know what you’re about. Your intentions are not as well masked as you think. And no, this machine is not available. Your subtle icebreaker, followed by a series of shallow yet personal questions about myself are only a disturbance to my workout, and will not end up in a date or more to the point, with you getting laid. In summary, please do not disturb.


Gym Bunny


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Now men- please don’t mistake this letter as a generalization or a broad sexist affront against your gender at large. I speak specifically to this particular breed- the one at the gym who’s more interested in looking at his flexing muscles in the mirror than the woman he supposedly wants to “take out” that night. The gym is our escape, where we get our sweat therapy. So, as you may have figured out by now, we just want to Sweat Freely.

Check out this hilarious buzzfeed video to see what it would look like if we came after you in the same manner that we are approached in on a daily basis.